One too many shots
by dan heron
Summary: A collection of tales, going from comedy, romance, drama, adventure, and all that junk, in the lives of the heroes and heroines you all know and love. Now: 02 Funny thoughts  /Discontinued
1. The Date

Well, since I don't want this place being filled by 1-shots I decided to make a collection of them and this is the first tale you'll have the pleasure to read. These tales will mostly be written by pure fun, not really aiming to make an epic tale, so I just want you to enjoy them as much as you can and… eh, well, ignore all these horrible flaws I tend to make every five words, k? This place will also be used to explain a few things about Danverse that would be kinda hard or tedious to explain during the normal course of the story. 

Now, let's get down to business!

**_From the One too many shots tales:_**

**01: The date **

By: **Dan Heron**

The sky took a shade of red as the yellow sun vanished under the horizon. Cold winds swept over the city as more and more lights accompanied the pale tint of the moon. People walked down the lit streets, flew over its buildings, traveled under the ground; the city as alive as ever.

Everybody went on their business –many and varied all of them-, but they couldn't help noticing a certain couple of Hylians.

One of them was girl with flowing, red hair cascading down to the middle of her back and eyes of the purest blue they had ever seen. A red and black dress wrapped her sun-bathed body in its soft and delicate fabric, and Gerudo styled sandals for her delicate feet. The other was a boy, with a mane of unruly, dirty blond hair topping his head. A blue earring adorned his left, long Hylian ear, and clothes with the colors of the forest.

They stopped for a moment in front of a little shop between two buildings, and with a nod of her head, the shopkeeper saw them away as they made their way into Ordo park. The gigantic trees loamed over them as they walked some ways into the clearing section of the park.

They made their way under a tree and the boy put down a basket he had been carrying with him and proceeded to remove items from it. Laying down a blanket over the grass, putting out glasses and dishes, and finally a little tlahui lamp; the _table_ was set.

The girl giggled as he bowed in front of her, and then she set on the task of serving dinner. The red smiled happily when she heard him make a content sound, much like a dog's, at the smell of her food. She couldn't help the warm feeling of pride she felt in her chest when he ate it all with much gusto.

Taking a bite of her own dish she smiled. She had done a remarkable job if she had to admit it herself.

When the couple was done with their meal the boy offered to clean up. She was more than happy to comply.

The young lady sighed contently once her companion sat next to her. She didn't waste time resting her head against his shoulder, basking in the warmth of his body. Almost as if on cue, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his frame.

She smiled sweetly, looking up into his purple eyes and then closed her azure orbs. Slowly, his lips approached hers, and with the gentlest brush, gave her a tender kiss.

After a minute, their liplock ended and both stared deeply into each other's eyes.

"So, what's the big deal then?"

He simply shrugged. "Well, I think that's it."

"So…adults make all that fuzz over this?" her wide blue eyes were disbelieving.

"Well, maybe it is different when you're an adult?" he suggested and she pouted.

"Well, I was kinda hoping to find out now," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "It felt just like any other time I have kissed you."

"The food was good," he said with a lazy, wolfish grin. "Made something special, Mal-kumi?"

The pout on Malon's face was quickly replaced by a huge smile. "Oh, _hai, hai_, Link_-kumi,_" the little five year old red nodded, "Cuz Dizi brought me some Gerudo mushrooms and I made the sauce with them. Very Sheika style, ya know?"

"Aaah, Zel-_kumi_ once gave me Sheika food, but yours is like much, much, much, much better, Mal," Link replied, lazily rubbing his belly.

"_Moka aroti_, Fairy Boy," Malon chuckled, looking over the rest of the park as she reassumed her place against Link's shoulder. "Now what? Dates end like this?"

"Dunno," Link said, rummaging in his pockets, "But with this our date can end," he said, pointing up.

"Uh?" Malon's blue eyes blinked in confusion.

" Oh, just wait," Link's wolfish grin was back on his face and Malon smiled back.

"Okay!"

Malon didn't have to wait for long before the sky was suddenly lit by dozens of colors and sounds. The rancher girl immediately sat upright and started to whoop along with the rest of the people in the park.

The two kids lost themselves watching the fireworks show before Link remembered he was looking for something. "Oh, that's why you bought it!" Malon smiled widely as Link tossed a box a few meters away from them.

As the box bounced on the grassy floor, it started to glow and then it opened with a bang. Malon started to jump as flashes of red, green and blue shot out to the sky, ending in huge bursts of color and sound.

"Cool, eh?" Link nudged Malon's side with her elbow and she elbowed him back.

"Very, _very_!" the little red replied, hugging Link and giving him a kiss. "You know, I think dates are cool after all."

**Fin **

Well, what you think? Liked? Hope you did. Oh, if you have any question about my stories fell free to ask and you'll probably be seeing the answer in one Hyrule's University classes's chapters here in One too many shots tales. Or if you have any silly suggestion for another chibiadventure then tell me about it in your review or a note. My crew in notorious for being a bunch of weirdoes.


	2. Funny thoughts

Well, my buddy Pata-Hikari's most recent update inspired me to write something dark, and this was an idea I had had for quite a while but never found a way to present it. So! I just sat and typed. The final product ended up being a bit different from the original idea (a short and dark fic) and turned into this huge thing. I'm sure you'll figure out who the main character is, but if you still are unsure tell me about it in a review.

Oh, and this is set in the present of my story. Which is the "future" from the games.

_**- o - **_

**_From the One too many shots tales: _**

** 02: Funny thoughts **

By: Dan Heron

For a moment, only a little moment, it was quiet, but then it came again, letting him remember why he was there.

It was a bit far from the ground. No, closer. Never mind, far from it.

There was another pause and then a chuckle. He thought of a cave. Or a big and empty room. Echo?

He looked down, feet dangling there away from the ground, and somehow expected to see the floor closer. Well, not this time. This time it was from behind his head.

He'd like to remember how exactly this had happened… but it seemed that last blow made remembering things a bit difficult. It was like he knew what he wanted to remember was there, but didn't know where _there_ exactly was.

Couldn't think clearly either. It was as if he could think about something one second, but the next it just didn't follow the one before.

Or hear. Everything just _rang_.

And he didn't remember the last time he had seen double. Somehow he remembered he didn't see double before. Weird.

She always joked if he had hit his head or something, but he had never figured out what she meant by that. Now he knew. It'd suck if he actually gave her reason for each time she said that.

Finally, everything smelled funny. He knew it wasn't the first time he had smelled this. He had walked with wolfos before, and even helped them hunt a couple silea deer; really big things. He knew the smell, but it was always away from him and mixed with grass, or mixed with fur, or mixed with dirt, or even guts. Now it was so, hmm, clean? Yes, it was so clean he could even taste it. No, wait, he could taste it? Actually, it was on his tongue… in his mouth? But his nose too.

Blegh, he had never liked the taste. He just spit as much as he could, coughing a little afterwards. His right fang hurt; he wasn't sure why it hurt. The tip of his tongue pushed behind his upper teeth and found his fang could move. Now he was worried; had his fang always moved like this?

"Still there, huh? Very good," _he_ said, and then, everything just hurt. Especially his stomach, chest, face… everything on the front, actually. And couldn't breath. There was too much dust.

He started to cough, trying to push himself up, but then he was flattened on his stomach again. Something was digging on his back, keeping him down and groaning at the pain and pressure. It was already hard to breath without that on his back.

"Get off," he managed to grunt, trying to push up, crawl away, something.

"If you so wish," came the reply and they moved the thing from his back. He chuckled with a little smile; he hadn't expected it to actually work. And certainly didn't expect the pain coming from his right side. Or flying through the air and land over that big boulder.

As he rolled off the rock, pinning his left arm under his back, he ended up sprawled –arm behind his back- over the grass. Heavy stomps came in his direction and he opened his eyes, watching up at the weird… _guy?_

At least twice taller than any other person he had seen before, Twilis included. More muscles than anything he had seen before, Gorons included. The face was where it got weird: the eyes seemed to glow blue, there didn't seem to be a nose other than two slits in the middle, and the mouth kind of stretched all the way back, filled with fangs. There was something like ears to the sides, and long, shiny, green hair falling on his back.

And he was grey.

Oh, and he made a lot of noise when he moved. He had a big, big armor and it clanked a lot.

The grey guy stopped next to him, looking down over a toothy _grin_. "Finally, after so many centuries… Finally!" he chuckled, stretching out his arms. "The greatest chosen, Farore's lil' boy, the Immortal Hero!" the big _guy_ spit down on him, letting out a raspy chortle, "Don't make me laugh!"

He blinked, feeling damp on his shirt. "Uh… I think I just did."

The towering one stopped for a moment, blinking his blue eyes at him before roaring in laughter. "So long, so long since I have wanted to see you like this! Broken, bloody, a prize placed at my feet! The way it is supposed to be! The way of nature! The strong prey on the weak!

"Tonight, I shall claim that which was denied to me so many centuries ago! You are powerless against me now, unable to fight back, unable to take the victory that so rightful belongs to me!

"I no longer care about stupid honor! Petty thing! Victory is the only thing that matters now! The only thing that ever did! Survival, Nature! The undeniable law! I am strong and you are weak! You are nothing but a weak, powerless child, so go ahead and scream like a child! Scream for mercy! Scream for a swift end! Scream! Scream I said!"

"You…" the kid mumbled.

"Yes… yes…!" his grin stretched even further back.

"Who… you, who…"

"Who am I? What am I?" the titan boasted, about to laugh at the helplessness of the child. "I am the hand that will deliver the fateful blow to your living heart after I have ripped it off your ruined chest! I'm the vengeful messenger who has come-."

"Eh, no."

"I- what?"

"I was going to ask if you told me your name… I don't remember," the kid shrugged his little shoulders. The gargantuan looked incredulously at the young one. "Do I know you? I think my memory isn't working right at the moment. It's clearer now, but I'm not really sure. You didn't stop smashing my head on the ground, and I think you punched me a couple times too on the head. It really hurt."

"You… are _you_ mocking _me_?! The smiting hand that shall bring your demise?! The god you should be praying to for mercy?! The grea-."

"Nope. _Gomi_, I'm serious, I don't remember you."

The silence stretched for way too long. Maybe he had upset him in some way. He didn't sound like a normal guy to begin with.

The giant grabbed the kind by the front of his green t-shirt and pulled him off the ground, bringing him close to his glowing eyes. "Don't you dare mocking me, you bastard Hylian!"

"But, I'm not," the kid simply shrugged. This guy had some issues it seemed.

"You lie!" the titan roared, slamming him on the ground once again. "If you really have no knowledge of who I am, then how could I lure you to me?! Answer!"

"Lure? Like the thing you use to fish?" he groaned. Now that fang felt really weird.

"Insolent human… how dare you… How dare you?!"

"But, I don't know what lure means," he groaned into the grass. This was getting old.

"Y-you, you came here attracted by my spell!"

"What spell?"

"The spell of blood!" the big guy screamed, and he was sure he was boiling. He was seeing steam coming out of his ears… and fire too! Well, look at that, he's burning mad!

"The what?"

"But you are here! I used one of the most powerful spells using your ancient blood to channel it… using your old gear!" he shouted, pointing to a bunch of trash the kid had seen before.

"Ah… uh?" he sat up. There didn't seem to be more beatings coming in his way.

"Don't lie! The spell was flawless! You are here because I summoned you! You are that wretched bastard that defeat me so many lives before!"

"Actually, I tripped on a stone and fell from that hill over there and-," before he could finish explaining how he got there, he felt as if his face had been smashed against a rock. Once he stopped rolling, he managed to get on his butt and spat a red glob to the right. Look at that, who would have thought you could lose a tooth like that?

"Your face… Your face!"

In a moment, he felt a huge hand grabbing him from behind his head, fingers clutching hard around his face. He could feel three fingers pressing his cheeks, and other three around his neck. He was lifted off the ground and turned to see water swirling in the air. If he hadn't been feeling as if somebody were trying to rip his head off he'd had said how cool the water thingy turned into a mirror.

"They told me you was reborn here! They told me you was **you**!"

"What?" his hands tried to make the hand open, but after a few seconds he finally deduced something: Not gonna work.

"The marks on your face. The curse I branded you with so many lives ago!" he finally managed to open his eyes against the pain and saw his reflection in the mirror. A mark on each of his cheeks –a little line, less than a centimeter thick- moving back under his hair.

"A curse, really?" he couldn't help sound a bit giddy despite the pain on his neck; he had always thought they were freckles thingies. A curse sounded much cooler.

"Stupid child, I will kill you! I will tear you apart, snuff the life out of your bloody body! Don't you understand?!"

He winced a little, feeling his claws digging more into his skin. A bit tighter and he'd cut into his cheek.

His lips curled slightly. "Oh well, everybody gotta die someday," he said as if it were the most logical thing in the world. And why not? It really was pretty logic.

"You… you… you stupid child!" in less than a blink the claws dug into his skin and he could feel a couple of them touching his tongue. What were touching the ones that dug into his neck? He could feel them so deep, but couldn't really tell just how deep really were.

"I will brand you again so the next time you reborn you will remember this moment! You will remember who killed you! You will remember my name! Bela!"

His hands were soaked red and warm by all that blood, but suddenly, it got hotter. Very hot. It actually burned!

He took back what he had said. _This was pain_. It was as if fire were entering through the cuts into his body, moving under the skin, and coming out just as hot to burn his skin and hands. His body trashed around, but that hand simply wouldn't let him go. He was shaking so badly he was surprised he hadn't torn his whole face to shreds yet. He didn't know how long it had burned, but at some point it had stopped; he just hadn't realized when.

And somehow, his brain was clearer than ever. "H-ha-i…" he groaned as best as he could. There were to many gaps in his face now, not to mention the claws in his mouth.

"Yes, the next time you reborn, you will see into your face and you will remember," Bela growled in a deep voice. "Maybe the next time I will let you live more so you can see your offspring be born with the same marks than you. Yes… it will be wonderful to rip your children apart just like I will with you."

"Th-that's not… I remember now… you didn't tell me… your name…"

There was a moment of silence and then Bela turned the kid around to see into his face.

A bloody, ruined, little, smiling face. "Would have never guessed your name."

The only sound that could be heard was the hiss from the burning blood still pouring out of the kid's face. Then Bela chuckled. "You… you simply won't beg for mercy." His chuckles started to grow into laughter. "I should have known this would happen… you really are _you_."

In a quick motion, Bela tossed the kid away, not caring where he could land. The kid did care! He landed on something hard. He rolled away, falling on another hard and pointy thing. He managed to open his bloodied eyes and saw he had landed on the _gear_. There were a lot of things, even one of those hook thingies he had seen in a book and a videogame.

"This junk is mine then?" he asked out aloud, turning his eyes towards Bela. Moving his head hurt like heck!

"A child… not even five years old… and he doesn't fear death…" the giant shook his head in disbelief. His eyes were weird, almost as if he were looking into the air.

"Why should I fear death?" he couldn't help asking. Was there a reason to fear death?

"… Yes, then I think we should paid a visit to your friends and see if they are as fearless as you are," Bela quietly said, walking towards the kid.

"My… friends…?" he said, even quieter.

"I will see if I can teach you to fear death by killing that Kokiri wench and those two faeries!" Bela roared, bending over to lift the kid into his hand.

"No…" Bela's face twisted into a crazy grin and he pulled the kid closer to his face.

"Yes! I will rip their bodies apart! I will cut their fat bellies and let animals eat their guts! I will make fire run into their veins until they are nothing but ashes! I will stomp on their bodies until they are nothing but a bloody pulp! I will make them scream in the most horrible agony any human will never feel! I will kill them and bring them back to life as many times as I need to teach you to fear death!" Bela roared, and fire burst out of his body. Everything was bathed in an orange glow, casting large shadows on the distance. His words were like thunder, making the ground tremble.

There was a click and Bela looked towards the kid.

The giant's neck literally exploded as a chain moved like a lighting bolt through flesh, entering from the left and leaving through the right. The end of the chain clashed against a tree, digging deeply and flaring open like a flower, and then there was another click. Bela simply blinked, not understanding what had happened.

The kid felt his arm and fingers being held tightly.

The chain started to move, this time returning from where it had come from, trying to pull the tree with it.

The tree was much stubborn.

Bela's body was dragged towards the tree, head first, as his confused eyes tried to see what was happening. There was a loud crash and Bela felt something entering his neck along with the chain.

Blood gushed over the kid as his arm was drawn into Bela's neck, widening the hole even further. The pressure was brutal and the neck finally reached its limit.

The kid clashed against the tree when the head was no longer blocking his path.

The rings holding his arm, wrist and fingers finally pulled back and the tip of the hookshot at least made it home. He fell to the ground, having nothing to holding him up and the large gauntlet-weapon hit the ground with a clank.

Without moving from the grassy floor, the kid put a hand on his shoulder, making sure it was still attached to his body. He'd thought it'd be ripped off for sure.

After making sure he was mostly in one piece he finally started the hard task of getting up. He didn't know somebody could get so tired just by getting beaten up. He was so sleepy he could drop sleep right there and then.

But he didn't.

He turned his eyes in direction of Bela; his face and neck still hurting too much.

The grey _person_ was slumped against the tree, almost as if he had been too tired to lean properly against its trunk to avoid cramps and soreness. There was blood coming from the hole on top. The head had rolled away.

He looked down into Bela's surprised eyes. Eyes that no longer glowed or shined. He didn't seem afraid.

"Couldn't let you," the kid quietly said, rubbing his injured shoulder despite the blood covered fabric. He didn't think he could rub his face or neck; it still hurt too much. "They did nothing to you," he somehow knew he shouldn't apologize or give explanations, but he still did.

The blond kid picked Bela's head and then walked back to the body. Using the little strengths he still had he managed to turn his body into a more comfortable position. Making sure he wouldn't fall, he finally put the head in Bela's lap, making sure the grey _man_ would hold his head and wouldn't roll away.

He knew he didn't have to do that, but there was nobody else to do it. And he was too tired to look for somebody who would do it.

He straightened up and gave a last look to Bela. It wasn't the first time he had seen somebody dying; he had hunted with the wolfos after all. Seeing a dead person didn't scare him, just as seeing a dead prey didn't scare him.

Still, hunting an animal was very different. They hunted for food, to make sure the pups would have something to eat and wouldn't die. Now, he had killed a person, and he felt _bad_ about it. Maybe not bad, but he felt something he wasn't used to. He wasn't entirely sure it was something bad or not, but it made him feel uncomfortable. He knew he had simply tried to stop him, keeping him from hurting his friends, but had ended up killing him. Taking a life to save three more… it didn't make sense, but deep down he knew it would have been even worst if Bela had hurt his friends.

Slowly, he turned around and started to walk away. He was feeling tired, very tired, and knew if he didn't get to the Kokiri city, he would spend the night in the forest. And somebody needed to take care of Bela's body; he wouldn't like if somebody just left his body tossed over there all alone. He took a few steps but suddenly stopped as a thought crossed his mind. He hadn't really paid much attention, but it came clearer than ever to him now.

Strong prey on the weak… That's the natural law.

Strong prey on the weak… Was that why he had stopped Bela?

Strong kills the weak… That…made no sense to him.

How could he? He, who was standing in front of a person bigger than a house, and stronger than any animal he had met before. A dead person, a person who had died in a blink, unable to do anything about it. He had seen silea deer fighting wolfos until it dropped dead, but this man simply didn't know what had happened to him.

He was little, with more than a few bones more than broken, loosing a lot of blood, and so weak even a baby Deku Daba could toss him around as if he were a ball. Bela was… Bela was huge, strong, wearing a huge armor, and probably capable of uprooting a tree and biting off a chunk of it just for fun.

A little kid had killed a huge man.

The weak kills the strong?

The weak prey on the strong then?

It was unnatural he could kill such a big man? It was against Nayru's law? Had he done something impossible? Was he doing something to make the Sisters sad?

A little smile tugged his bloodied lips. Nah, it's not that.

He turned on his heels and started his trip back home once again. There was no time to waste in such funny thoughts.

Besides, he already knew it wasn't about being strong or weak. Wolfos had taught him he only hunted and killed animals when he had to. Get food for yourself, food for the cubs, protect the forest and protect your pack.

His march slowed for a little moment before he pushed on.

Your pack, huh? Well, it was silly to think he had the right to kill Bela only for that, but he really didn't want to think what Bela would have done with his friends. The three of them had always taken care of him, making sure he was safe and happy, it was only fair he made sure they were safe and happy and caring about them.

That didn't sound so funny. It sounded in his tummy for a reason. Well, more like the chest.

Still the idea of killing people so they wouldn't hurt his friend didn't sound right at all.

He scratched his head, feeling as if somebody were using a hammer in there, but pushed his hand away when he saw how dirty it was. He looked down to his once green clothes, now black and red and dark red. He was so dirty now.

Fear crept into his chest, turning his stomach into knots and clutching tightly on his heart. Taking a deep breath he started to walk faster, knowing the longer he waited, the worst it'd be. Yes, he knew about fear, terror more likely.

The image of a blue haired Faerie pounding him on the head filled his thoughts.

"Navi is so gonna kill me."

And shrugging off a shiver of terror, he vanished into the forest.

_**- o - **_

_**Fin**_

_**- o - **_

Well, this is the reason why Link has scars on his face and why they were placed in that way. And yeh, it's a cursed mark, but it was set there as a mean to find Link in case he were reborn and Bela, a demon, was defeated. Which as you can guess, happened in the past. Many times. That's why Bela tried to defeat Link when he couldn't defend himself. Unfortunately for Bela, Link wasn't trained to fight, and in his attempt to stop Bela, ended up killing him, unlike his pervious lives where he allowed him to live. So, the marks are pretty much useless now that there's nobody who wants to track Link in other incarnations. Link's children however will be born branded like him, caused by the new marks placed by Bela on their final encounter. Once again, it'll be just an aesthetic trait inherited from daddy Link.

Oh, and in case it wasn't clear, Link is only a bit younger than 5 years old. And Link was holding onto the hookshot when Bela decided to kill Saria, Yali and Navi (in my fic Navi has been "guarding" Link since he was taken by the Kokiri). The design of hookshot I thought while writing this comes from a mix of the Wind Waker's and Twilight Princess'. And no, Link isn't a fearless daredevil, he just didn't understand why Bela would expect him to be afraid of death since Link knows it's just a fact of life.

Ok, that's all. Hope you liked this chapter! If you don't, that's ok too. Just make sure to review and tell me what you think.

Oh, and Bela's name comes from Latin for war.


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